Lexin

I see in the news that the King has been diagnosed with cancer.

I feel sorry for him in that way one feels sorry for people to whom one is not connected in any way but who are going through a rather bad time.

I hope it's a type of cancer which has a good survival rate - my Aged P had bowel cancer in 1991, was operated on in 1992 and then survived until 2011 when she died of a heart attack. So she survived the cancer really well.

It would be good if he survived like that - we've already spent a ton of public money on the late Queen's funeral and the subsequent Coronation. I know people may think me mean, but I am sort of mean. Sorry.

Had she lived, the Aged P would have been 87 today.

Despite the fact that she could be very difficult, I do miss the old trout.

In other news

Last night my modem/router blew – everything in the ‘computer corner’ shut down suddenly, and when I’d sorted it out and turned it all on again, the modem was dead as a dead thing that’s very dead. I checked out the wires (you see, I learn from my mistakes) and it was the modem.

So I reserved a new one online this morning, collected it from the shop that is at the next tube stop along the line on which I live and installed it.

That wasn’t as painful as some have been in the past, but their CD didn’t work – thankfully the manufacturer (Netgear) had included instructions that didn’t need the CD and I used those. I then had to install the new wireless setup on all the things I have in my house which need wireless to work properly – the list now includes my TV.

It’s now all set up and working properly, but cost me half a day’s annual leave I could have done without using up.

OK, so I’ve reinstalled Windows (yes, Linux users, I know) and everything is running very much faster and happier than it did, not least because the system is now free of 2+ years of dead software and crappy registry entries. Boy, did I have some tut on that system.

Having said that, I still have a couple of programs still to reinstall, but they’re things I don’t use that often and can install as and when needed.

The other outcome of this whole problem is that my desk is fantastically clear. There are huge bits of time when you're installing software when you're waiting for something to happen but can't leave your desk, and I filled in the time by clearing the papers and assorted detritus from my desk. My cleaner is going to be so proud of me! I also found a few bits of things that I'd forgotten I had, including a rather handsome brooch and a pair of lapis earrings.

While I was doing this (I may be slightly hypomanic) I sorted out my spare room and have three large bags of stuff needing to be taken away. I will book AnyJunk on Monday, leaving enough time to sort through my wardrobe and get rid of some clothes I don't wear any more.

I am preparing the room and the flat for the stuff which is to come from the Aged P's next week, and I now have a clear shelf on my shelves in my hall for china and glass, and I'm planning a reorganisation of my china cabinet to accept the Coalport.

I was in pain by the end of yesterday, but I slept very well once I'd taken painkillers.

Just to add, I hate iTunes, so so very much. To me, it's a nightmare program which works in a totally counter-intuitive way. It's one of the things which puts me off Apple's products - if that's an example of how their stuff works, I can't risk buying anything of theirs because I'll never get my head around it.

The funeral went as well as can be expected for that sort of thing.

I found it very hard, much harder than I'd anticipated it would be and I think that was true for most of the family.

It was a bright, sunny day but very cold. Turnout at the church was very good, which wasn't that much of a surprise as the Aged was well known in the district.

I don't think I have much more to say about it.

I had an interesting weekend; I went up to see the Aged P. on Friday. She was in fine fettle for a woman confined to bed, but tried to tell me that up until her long stay in hospital last year, she'd been "quite spry".

Bollocks, mother dear. (I didn't tell her in quite those words.) I can remember back to Christmas 1997, which is just after Dad died, when she and I went on holiday to Benidorm and she was using two sticks to get around in the hotel and if we went out she was in a wheelchair which only just fit in the hotel lift. Not long afterwards she started to use a three wheeled walker and has just got weaker since. In short, she hasn't been 'spry' since about 1995.

Her memory's going a bit, too. She said she can't remember what Dad looked like – this despite the fact that there's a picture of him over the end of her bed, just where she can see him.

The Enid

On Saturday I travelled to Birmingham to see a band I've liked since the early 1980's called "The Enid".

I love The Enid to little tiny minty balls, and this concert totally lived up to expectations. It was at Birmingham Symphony Hall - which has painfully narrow seats for someone as fat as me but is a splendid venue in all other ways.

They had a full orchestra (the City of Birmingham Symphony Orchestra) and a full choir and a conductor who wasn't Robert John Godfrey. This meant that the music had a slightly different sound – it was interesting to hear it interpreted by someone else and with a wider range of instruments than one normally hears. At times the orchestra was in the background of the sounds, and sometimes it was right there at the forefront. I've signed up for the CD of the concert, which should be interesting.

RJG didn't look well at all; I gathered from my friend Dave (who'd arranged the tickets – thanks Dave!) that Robert had had an accident of some kind and had broken his leg. As a result, he was on crutches. But it wasn't just that he was on crutches that made him look unwell – he looked grey even from where we were sitting.

It also had Alan Moore dressed as Dumbledore reading a poem about the history of the gay liberation movement – which could have done with being about five minutes shorter. Honestly, it did slightly outstay its welcome, as a couple of the audience pointed out somewhat vociferously towards the end. As for why it was there, perhaps curiously Dave and I both had a similar thought about there always being a part in a show for the producer's girlfriend. I mention this because it was an odd thing that we both thought of the quote, not because I intend to insinuate anything about anyone connected with the concert.

In short, brilliant concert; loved it to death but could have done with less of the talky bloke in the robe.

It was my mother's 85th birthday a few days ago. I'm going to see her tomorrow, a day trip to Nuneaton by train. Today, I'm working from home due to the tube strike and I have to work tomorrow morning.

Does anyone have any suggestions for a present for an elderly woman, confined to bed, who is in hospital, and which might be obtainable at a railway station in the UK? (For those who know railway stations in the UK, it's Euston.)

Edit: The hospital does not allow flowers. I have no idea why.

I was walking to work the other morning when this bloke walked past me. He was on his mobile and just as he drew level with me he said, "But what about the woman in the cupboard?"

Er…what?

And the real tragedy is that I'll never now find out what about the woman in the cupboard.

Damned with faint praise

My brother took his kids on holiday to Cornwall. Camping. That was obviously his first mistake. He was round at my mother's with his sons, telling my mother about their holiday when one of his sons said, "It was fun some of the time, Dad."