Really bad news

[lexin]

I had Smokey PTS today. I am heartbroken. All the way home from the vets I wanted to scream “give me my cat back”.

Smokey came to live with me when I was living in London and shortly after my mum died. I had wanted a cat for some time, but given that I visited mum every three weeks it didn’t seem fair to have someone have to come in and feed it while I trotted off.

She came from the RSPCA cat shelter in (I think) Finsbury Park, with all the palaver that entails around being inspected and providing reliable references.

I chose her rather than her sister because Smokey was lively and the sister wasn’t. And because I knew that as a black cat she might struggle more to find a home.

Why now? Smokey had been struggling more and more each day. She had a hard little cough that I didn’t like the sound of. She was struggling to jump onto my bed. Her coat was “staring”, meaning it stood up rather than lying down and being glossy, and, as I became aware on Saturday night, her purr had changed. In fact she didn’t seem to be able to purr properly. Worst of all, she just sat in a corner all day and looked mournful. In short, it was time.

I wish I could believe in things like the “rainbow bridge” but I can’t.

She was the best cat, and I will miss her always.

Comments

[oursin]

Condolences on your loss.

[lexin]

Thank you.

[white_hart]

I am so sorry.

[lexin]

It was a hard decision, but I couldn’t keep putting her through investigations which would just lead to the same result.

[kotturinn]

Condolences. I know how hard that decision is.

[lexin]

It really is.

[queen_ypolita]

I'm sorry for your loss

[lexin]

Thank you.

[fox]

oh, i'm so sorry. she was so lucky to have you.

[lexin]

Thank you.

[pocketmouse]

So sorry to hear this! She was a lovely cat.

[lexin]

She really was. She was my fluffy baby-girl.

[batdina]

I am so very sorry for your loss. I have loved reading about Smokey and am sorry she's gone. xo

[lexin]

Thank you.

[marcelo]

*hugs* I'm very sorry.

[lexin]

Thank you.

[leela_cat]

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

I've really liked reading about Smokey and getting to know her through your posts.

Please take care of yourself. It's such a hard decision to make.

[lexin]

It was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make.

[stranger]

This is so sad, and I'm very sorry to hear it. She loved you, and you were her home. Take care of yourself and Opal. I'll be thinking of you.

[lexin]

Thank you.

[elwinfortuna]

I'm so sorry for your loss. She was the best cat and you gave her an amazing life full of love. *hugs*

[lexin]

Thank you.

[manna]

I'm so sorry. *hugs*

[lexin]

Thank you.

[corvidology]

♥

[lexin]

Thank you.

[lyorn]

I am so sorry.

[lexin]

Thank you, she was the best cat.

[julesjones]

I'm so sorry. Knowing you've done the right thing doesn't make it any easier.

[lexin]

It is miserable and I miss her so much.

[emrinalexander]

Oh, I am just so sorry for your losing Smokey. I recall when she came to live with you all that time ago. It is devastating when the time comes. She was a very exemplary cat❤️

[lexin]

Thank you. I miss her so.

[doire]

I'm sorry to read this. You will never forget her, but I hope the mourning is easing a little with time.

I've not been following dreamwidth or I would have commented sooner. Perhaps it's as well though. We said goodbye to our Minnie just a few days earlier and it would have hit me very hard. She was such a grumpy darling.

[lexin]

Thank you. I’m sorry to hear about Minnie.

I miss Smokey so much.

[hunningham]

Very late, but I wanted to say how sorry I am that your little cat has gone and I know how you'll miss her.

But also - sorry if this is weird - thank-you for not letting it go on too long. It sounds like you gave Smokey a good ending, and that's what we all want for animals we care for.