Something l’m annoyed about

[lexin]

So, my friend “J” sent out a round robin email wishing our gaming group a Happy New Year, and outlining that he was planning a gaming get together fairly soon at a venue yet to be chosen and a time yet to be decided on. I replied, saying I’d like to come but it depends on the cost.

Nothing happened for a couple of weeks.

Then I got the following email: Me: “I’m up for it if I can afford it.”
“Him”: That's not the main issue: I'm sure we could have a whip round or something.

“I have now looked at various venues but it will be difficult to make a decision as they are so good, if diverse. Even if I confined this decision to those with bedrooms on the ground floor and disabled access, I am still doubtful that you could even manage. You could barely walk in August and I don't feel you could travel for 2-4 hours on public transport without a carer/plus size wheelchair now. Anyway, I don't want the risk of you collapsing in transit on my conscience.

“Unless I find somewhere I feel is particularly possible, participation doesn't seem viable to me. Sorry about that. I hope you understand.”

What this boils down to, shorn of its verbiage, is: I have decided that as a disabled person, you can’t manage, so I have decided you can’t come. I therefore rescind my invitation. Plus, I can’t be arsed to find a suitable venue.

Now, I don’t want to go somewhere where I wouldn’t be welcome, but I’m also well pissed off that he didn’t even ask me what kind of venue I would need.

Comments

[white_hart]

What an utter knob he sounds to be!

[lexin]

I think so, too. I think he may be sulking because my other players in a DnD game I was running asked for him to leave because he was playing a game-breaking nutcase.

[kotturinn]

Needs a putrefying codfish taken to him.

[lexin]

He really does.

[corvidology]

Even worse, I'm sure he thinks this way 'showing consideration.'

[lexin]

He probably does.

[watervole]

Or, trying to be fair, he has looked at venues and thought about disability and not found any with decent disabled access.

Some hotels can be a bit sneaky in how they describe these things. I remember my Dad (needed a walking frame), being sold a room with 'level access'.

Well it was level, if you went all the way round the hotel and entered by the back entrance, but you couldn't come in the front where all the social space was...

[lexin]

From what I understand, he’s looking for houses, large cottages and things like converted barns. It shouldn’t be impossible to find a converted barn, my K/S friends use one which sleeps 12, and has two rooms on the ground floor which are en-suite.

I do have to admit it’s in Norfolk, which is a seven hour journey for me, but it does show it’s not absolutely impossible.

[lyorn]

This sucks so much.

I generally hate it when people throw the towel at the first hint that a plan will take some more consideration to work. They could at least throw the ball back with asking you for suggestions. (Not that this always ends well).

But "I'm going to disinvite you to protect you because I don't think you can do it yourself" is another level.

[lexin]

It really is. If he'd put it to me as, 'I'm not sure what adjustments you need, can you help.' That would have been completely different.

[emrinalexander]

He sounds like a complete idiot. I think it's pretty presumptuous for him to just assume what would or wouldn't work for you, on top of his rather feeble attempt to check out venues.

[lexin]

I think with the venues, he's found places he likes that wouldn't suit me. Yes, feeble.