Overheard

I was walking to work the other morning when this bloke walked past me. He was on his mobile and just as he drew level with me he said, "But what about the woman in the cupboard?"

Er…what?

And the real tragedy is that I'll never now find out what about the woman in the cupboard.

Damned with faint praise

My brother took his kids on holiday to Cornwall. Camping. That was obviously his first mistake. He was round at my mother's with his sons, telling my mother about their holiday when one of his sons said, "It was fun some of the time, Dad."