Shocks and horrors

[lexin]

Yesterday's Sun newspaper carried a headline, "Jacko's two gay lovers!" Since it appears that they pay money for this sort of tat, do you think I could make my fortune with a 'Bears shit in the woods' shock horror news story? I'm sure there are a million others we could sell them, too.

Comments

[telesilla]

Pope Still Catholic!

[lexin]

Water strangely wet!

[oursin]

Dog bites man!

[lydia-petze.livejournal.com]

The other day I tried to sell them my expose on the Pope being Catholic. They weren't interested. /sadface/

[m31andy.livejournal.com]

I think they were just under pressure from the Catholic Church. There's probably a case for defamation there...

[the-magician.livejournal.com]

I think Dan Brown may have already exposed that

[lydia-petze.livejournal.com]

But he did it so BADLY! At the very least I'd get mine edited!

[clanwilliam.livejournal.com]

Far more shocking is the statistic that at any given time, the odds are that the Pope you meet isn't Catholic.

Also, there are on average 2 Popes per square kilometre in the Vatican.

[lydia-petze.livejournal.com]

Also, there are on average 2 Popes per square kilometre in the Vatican.

/shudder

Oh, I don't like those odds. Fancy having a lovely day out in the Vatican and tripping over a random Pope.

[clanwilliam.livejournal.com]

They're a bit of a nuisance. And once they've settled in a location, you can't get rid of them.

[lexin.livejournal.com]

Like grey squirrels, only not as cute.

[lydia-petze.livejournal.com]

Yeah, apparently you have to crawl right inside the hive and kill the queen.

[shezan.livejournal.com]

Also, there are on average 2 Popes per square kilometre in the Vatican.

GENIUS!

[clanwilliam.livejournal.com]

Sadly not original - I got that from a friend. And another friend offered the statistic that the Pope is, on average, only 33% Catholic.

But both are such brilliant statistics that I feel they should be trotted out more often.

[shezan.livejournal.com]

Ah but have the bears had 45 nose jobs and skin whitening treatments?

[lexin.livejournal.com]

Only the white ones.

[zellieh]

I was thinking of sending them an expose on how Tom Cruise and John Travolta are both gay crazy Scientologists, but I wouldn't want to push the Sun's limits...

(And also the Church of Crazy would probably sue for defamation if I called them gay crazy Scientologists in public. 'Cos it's ultra-sooper-seekrit, donchaknow.)

[lexin.livejournal.com]

Well yes. I suppose they think you got to get all your thetans in a row before revealing the truth. And then they only reveal it if you pay them enough.