![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
So, my friend “J” sent out a round robin email wishing our gaming group a Happy New Year, and outlining that he was planning a gaming get together fairly soon at a venue yet to be chosen and a time yet to be decided on. I replied, saying I’d like to come but it depends on the cost.
Nothing happened for a couple of weeks.
Then I got the following email: Me: “I’m up for it if I can afford it.”
“Him”: That's not the main issue: I'm sure we could have a whip round or something.
“I have now looked at various venues but it will be difficult to make a decision as they are so good, if diverse. Even if I confined this decision to those with bedrooms on the ground floor and disabled access, I am still doubtful that you could even manage. You could barely walk in August and I don't feel you could travel for 2-4 hours on public transport without a carer/plus size wheelchair now. Anyway, I don't want the risk of you collapsing in transit on my conscience.
“Unless I find somewhere I feel is particularly possible, participation doesn't seem viable to me. Sorry about that. I hope you understand.”
What this boils down to, shorn of its verbiage, is: I have decided that as a disabled person, you can’t manage, so I have decided you can’t come. I therefore rescind my invitation. Plus, I can’t be arsed to find a suitable venue.
Now, I don’t want to go somewhere where I wouldn’t be welcome, but I’m also well pissed off that he didn’t even ask me what kind of venue I would need.
Nothing happened for a couple of weeks.
Then I got the following email: Me: “I’m up for it if I can afford it.”
“Him”: That's not the main issue: I'm sure we could have a whip round or something.
“I have now looked at various venues but it will be difficult to make a decision as they are so good, if diverse. Even if I confined this decision to those with bedrooms on the ground floor and disabled access, I am still doubtful that you could even manage. You could barely walk in August and I don't feel you could travel for 2-4 hours on public transport without a carer/plus size wheelchair now. Anyway, I don't want the risk of you collapsing in transit on my conscience.
“Unless I find somewhere I feel is particularly possible, participation doesn't seem viable to me. Sorry about that. I hope you understand.”
What this boils down to, shorn of its verbiage, is: I have decided that as a disabled person, you can’t manage, so I have decided you can’t come. I therefore rescind my invitation. Plus, I can’t be arsed to find a suitable venue.
Now, I don’t want to go somewhere where I wouldn’t be welcome, but I’m also well pissed off that he didn’t even ask me what kind of venue I would need.
Tags: