Lexin

I had Smokey PTS today. I am heartbroken. All the way home from the vets I wanted to scream “give me my cat back”.

Smokey came to live with me when I was living in London and shortly after my mum died. I had wanted a cat for some time, but given that I visited mum every three weeks it didn’t seem fair to have someone have to come in and feed it while I trotted off.

She came from the RSPCA cat shelter in (I think) Finsbury Park, with all the palaver that entails around being inspected and providing reliable references.

I chose her rather than her sister because Smokey was lively and the sister wasn’t. And because I knew that as a black cat she might struggle more to find a home.

Why now? Smokey had been struggling more and more each day. She had a hard little cough that I didn’t like the sound of. She was struggling to jump onto my bed. Her coat was “staring”, meaning it stood up rather than lying down and being glossy, and, as I became aware on Saturday night, her purr had changed. In fact she didn’t seem to be able to purr properly. Worst of all, she just sat in a corner all day and looked mournful. In short, it was time.

I wish I could believe in things like the “rainbow bridge” but I can’t.

She was the best cat, and I will miss her always.

I had a really rough night - yet another stomach upset, which may (or may not) be a bug that’s going round. It came on in the night, but at least this time I got out of bed and my sheets survived without being pooed. So there was that. I am not playing DnD today as I just can’t manage to think that much.

Cats

I took Opal to the vet on Tuesday because she’s chewing the fur in front of her tail and on her left back paw. They have prescribed Metacam, some more Gabapentin and a capsule called Cystaid. I told her she was a very expensive hobby - it cost over £150, not including the taxi fare there and back.

Teeth

I’m going to have to cancel tomorrow’s dentist appointment because I don’t know the cause of this bug, and I don’t want to give it to the dentist.

Once again I seem to be suffering some kind of 48 hour bug. This time it’s a full D&V. I went to bed at 16:00 and am up because I can’t sleep and thought that a lemon and ginger tea might help.

So far it hasn’t, I’m just being sick again, and my stomach hurts, just under my ribs. It’s miserable.

I am home from being away for the weekend. A weekend away was just what I needed, it was lovely to see some old friends.

My journey back, however, was rather horrible, I had just left the place I was staying when I started to get stomach pains. I managed until I got to Birmingham when I started to get diarrhoea.

For the rest of the journey I was in the train loo every half an hour. Even today I am still not quite well - I think it is a 48 hour bug. I feel a bit dizzy and not quite the ticket.

The cats seem vaguely happy to see me back, but have retreated to my bedroom. For the very first time last night they were both on my bed without handbags at dawn breaking out. Perhaps they felt sorry for me.

Edited to add: while I was away, Storm Amy brought my back fence down. This is the second time my fence has come down in North Wales winds. My insurance does not cover fences, hedges or gates, so I have to find funds to put the fence back up. I have no idea where that is going to come from.

I spent yesterday volunteering at the local Repair Cafe. It was quite fun, everyone was welcoming, and I even got some sewing work in, which I almost finished. Next month I will remember to bring some sewing needles. I took my sewing machine, but it wouldn’t cope with sewing the fur side of the fur layer.

Thinking about it, I should have sewed the the other side, but that never occurred to me at the time. I just hope no-one ever turns up wanting something lined. That would take too long.

But I will go along next month.

Back, yet again, from the doctors. I think I should have my own seat in the waiting room.

This time I was able to point out to the nurse the little scar/scratch which is where the fluid is coming from. She put a new dressing on it, one she said would help it heal. Then a big plaster which is due to stay on for two days. She also gave me some to take away.

For those wondering about me seeing a lymphoedema nurse, she also made me an appointment with the diabetic nurse for next week, and that nurse will make a decision about a referral. So, we’ll see.

Today’s nurse also took a blood test, which is to do with my ongoing kidney issues. I will ring up on Monday and see what the results are. I’m a bit nervous because last night I had lower back pain, just where it would hurt if my kidneys were playing tricks.

Now, I’m going to elevate my legs.

I spent some time yesterday removing J K Rowling’s books from my shelves and replacing them with the pile of gaming books which have been piled on my floor for not just months but years.

The aim is to give the Rowling books to charity. I have no problem with other people reading them, but I won’t be reading them again and having them on the shelves was annoying me. Just about everything she says on X annoys me. She’s a twat.

I mean, I have no problem if a person who’s 6’4” with a beard you could hide a badger in wants to use female pronouns. It’s their choice and not acceding to their wishes is rude. Even if I think they’re nuts, I keep my thoughts to myself. If they want to use female toilets it doesn’t bother me. I’m asexual and other people’s genitalia are of no interest.

I am unpopular with Smokey.

I took her to the vet today for an x-ray - the appointment was for 09:00, meaning I had to get up at a sparrow’s fart. She didn’t like being put in the carrier.

They were very careful to explain to me that it involved a general anaesthetic and they could not guarantee that Smokey would survive. I said I understood and that at her age (she’s 19) I wouldn’t expect a heroic revival if anything happened.

As you can imagine, I have been on tenterhooks all day.

I got a call at quarter to four to tell me that she was ready to be picked up.

It turned out that the only thing the x-ray showed was swollen lymph nodes. So we are giving her at least a month’s rest from being dragged to the vet, and may then repeat her bloods. Someone on FB asked me if they have checked for pancreatitis, and yes, they have. They are as sure as they can be that it’s not that.

When I got her home, I opened her carrier and she ran up the stairs as if the hounds of hell were at her little furry heels. Poor cat!

Poor me, too. The doors to the poor house gape ever wider. X-raying a cat is not a cheap hobby. Neither are taxi fares x four. I may have to live on cheap biscuits and porridge.

I had a phone call from the DWP earlier today, to talk about my ongoing PIP review. We chatted for about an hour, with the annoying outcome that she’s going to refer me to an assessor.

I could totally live without that. When I asked how long it would take an assessor to get in touch, I was told that it could be “months”. Helpfully, I will be paid until a decision is made.

I took Smokey back to the vet yesterday, and the vet gave her an ultrasound, scaled her teeth and took urine and bloods. The vet said that when he examined her he thought he could feel a “mass” but when he used the ultrasound he couldn’t find it. That's Smokey all over - never straightforward.

So far, whatever is wrong with her isn’t thought to be her thyroid. They were a bit puzzled by how dilute her urine is, but I explained how much in love with her water fountain she is.

They are sending one of her bloods to an external lab to see what they can suggest at further cost to me.

She didn’t eat much when she got home, but slept off the sedation. On the other hand, when I took up her tea, she dived on it straight away. So hopefully she will finish it.

Cost so far, £400+. Ker-ching! This time I am really going to have to ask the insurers to cover some of it, though there is a £99 excess and a 20% co-pay.