Question for all and sundry about present giving

[lexin]

I've asked my colleagues and they've gone 'hmmmmm', so I turn to you as the founts of all knowledge and wisdom.

The reason behind this question is that I'm confused; my aunts and uncles never gave me presents so the question never arose with me. (This was due to a family contretemps involving my parents which I won't go into here but was labyrinthine.)

But it occurred to me that my nephews are 18 this year and should be each their own man soon. So do I carry on giving them presents at Christmas and birthdays or don't I? I don't know what the rules are here, or even if there are any. I have no intention, btw, of stopping without mentioning it to their parents.

Poll #12772 Presents for nephews

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: Access List, participants: 14

How old should my nephews be before I stop giving them birthday and Christmas presents?

18
1 (7.1%)

21
0 (0.0%)

working in paid employment
4 (28.6%)

something else I will explain in comments
7 (50.0%)

never stop giving them birthday and Christmas presents
2 (14.3%)

Comments

[kaz]

I think this is going to be really, really family-dependent, tbh, depending on how close you are (ETA: and how many of you there are - I have a very small extended family, it seems) and also the gift-giving tradition in your family and culture.

I don't think I've gotten Christmas/birthday presents from my one aunt + uncle since I was in my teens? In fact I'm not sure I got them regularly in my childhood because there was this ginormous ocean in the way and sending us stuff was kind of costly. At the same time, that aunt and uncle generally drive down to visit us on the 26th of December and bring presents for everyone then. (Which is also partially a hospitality gift - I think Germans make a bigger deal of that than Brits, or maybe it's to do with the different social circles I inhabit in both countries). My other aunt has lived with my parents since I was thirteen or so and we get each other presents every Christmas.

My immediate family has also discussed stopping gift-giving for holidays as a tradition entirely, because we're all very bad at it and my parents buy us a lot of stuff through the year anyway. So I guess we don't have that much attachment to the custom anyway.

And I give presents to my niece on Christmas (and will probably start on her birthday as well), but she's five so this is a very different situation!

[lexin]

I gave them physical gifts when they were younger, but since they've become teenagers it's been a cheque.

Thanks for all this, very useful.