Sleep! Give me sleep!

[lexin]

I am exhausted. My psychiatrist increased my anti-psychotic and I feel as if I've been stuffed with cotton wool – weak and floppy and squashable. I'm struggling to put one foot in front of the other.

A friend from the union came round and borrowed a frock I made for a convention. She's going to a Renaissance wedding and needed something to wear; I offered as I hardly wear those frocks. It was a bit stretched on her and she suggested that we both go on a diet. I don't feel much like dieting – I've got enough to think about without adding that.

I was too weak to say so, and now I'm feeling guilty about every mouthful, while still eating as much as I usually do. So that's got me precisely nowhere. Suggestions that I 'just eat less' will be treated with the contempt they deserve – if it were that easy, I'd have done it already. Besides, I know nobody IRL who's dieted and kept the weight off. There may be such people, but I'm not one of them and I've never actually met one of them.

I want to go to sleep!

Comments

[bethac.livejournal.com]

I do eat four or five times a day, just smaller portions, spread thru the day, and that has helped alot. I am finally seeing it come off, but it doesn't happen, for me at least, overnight. The biggest thing I do that was the hardest is no eating or drinking after 7:00pm. If I get thirsty only water. That was the hardest to maintain (I am not a water lover), but now after a year I don't think about it. Also, I give myself a chocolate treat at the end of the day (before 7) either a candybar or icecream or something, because I won't be miserable and it gives me a lift. Also, I love chocolate and knowing I can have a nice candybar (not a piece, but a regular size bar, or a handful of m&ms) or something at the end of the day makes it easier to not have something during the rest of the day. If I have something during the day, I don't eat my candy at the end.
Anyway, that's how I am doing it, and slowly it is coming off. And staying off (not a huge amount, but slow and steady).
People who do crazy things to lose fast are crazy. And unhappy.

[lexin.livejournal.com]

I think actionreplay is right and I'm just not in a place where even that much makes sense. I need to concentrate on the illness first, and tackle the other stuff later.